Sick Week

It been quite a week. Because of that, I am going to do some recapping.

LAST Sunday, Solomon had his fever.

We spent Monday playing as quitely and calmly as we could. He was so excited to be feeling better and speaking that he was making up for it, double time. :)

Tuesday Will was home with us. We went to Downtown Disney. We had to pick up some Nemo things for Solomon's birthday party, that would be acting as cake decorations ont he 28th. We ate a Tortilla Joes...fajitas...yum. We walked a round a bit and just took our time getting back home. It was a really nice day.

Wednesday we had, what I thought was a great visit with KelliAnn. Solomon slept most of the time that KelliAnn and I visited. Her little girl, Kaitlyn is getting so big. I can't believe she is ONE! When Solomon woke up, we went back to see him and he was clinging to my sister like his life depended on it. He was so sweet with Kaitlyn. he said her name really well. He was (trying) to share toys with her. He hasn't really got the whole, "when I offer you a toy, I'm actually supposed to let you play with it" down yet. He would give it to her and then as soon as she had it take it back. It was cute anyway. He was really sad when they left....so was I. I felt really bad because after KelliAnn left, I started to feel a little ache in my throat and some stuffness...I HOPE HOPE HOPE they don't get was I was about to get.

Thursday, I woke up feel terrible. Will had to go to work (one of his many side jobs, the tanning salon) and I decided that maybe tanning would make me feel better. Sitting in the sun always helps me when I have a cold and it was not even close to sunny that morning. I definately didn't feel better afterward...infact, I'll be honest, I got fried. I got home and tried my best to take care of Solomon but I was feeling TERRIBLE. I had a 102 fever and I was a weepy mess. I always get like that when I'm sick (plus I was due to start my period on saturday). Will got home at 3 and I just gave up when I saw him. I was beyond ill. I layed down and hardly remember the night. I beg beg begged him to let his supervising clinician know that he couldn't come in(on Friday) because I just could not function with that fever. He did :) I started to panic since Solomon's bday was on Saturday...Lord please make me better!, I prayer.

Friday, fever was still there...still felt horrible...don't remember much else...

And Saturday...oh Saturday...that is a blog all in itself...soon to come...

Just So Tired

it been a hard few week as far as Solomon's sleep patterns. He has been waking up, as in ready to start his day, anywhere between 3:30am and 6am. Will and I are exhausted. He has been waking up pretty upset too and he just will not go back to sleep. I am starting to feel like Im sliding to a very very low and tired place. I do not function well without sleep. Im horribly grumpy and have little to no patience. I just don't know how to help Solomon. I feel like I have tried everything. He just will not sleep in anymore. And I assure you, by sleeping in, Im only mean 6:30-7ish. I need sleep! Im not a good napper but I have been taking every moment that I can to try and get a few minutes of sleep. Apart from this moment...yeah...I should go rest.

No Thanks...

Ugh...so one of John McCain's top advisers said, what would really be good for John McCains campaign would be another terrorist attack on America, in Fortune Magazine.

Not my idea of a good future four years.

Her Fever's Breaking

"Her fever's breaking" ...One of my favorite parts of Rent is when Mimi's fever breaks. I get chills every time...and tears.

That is exactly how I felt last night when Solomon's stinking fever finally broke. What a relief. He was in so much pain. As I said in the previous blog, I gave him Tylenol and nothing happened. I was SO mad at myself. When Will got home from school I ran to Whole Foods for some Belladonna and alas, it broke. He is completely fine today...a little sleepy as we didn't sleep much last night or the night before, but doing great!

You Give Me Fever...

Yesterday I went to get my hair done...wow was I in need of some root dye-age. We usually do a reddish orange color that I love, with some blonde. For some reason, my stylist forgot to mix all the colors so its a dark red. Im not particularly thrilled. But oh well...what are you going to do huh?

As I was driving home, my dad called me up and said he and his girlfriend wanted to watch him so that Will and I could go out. Wow...he has done this a few times before, but he is the ONLY person who has ever offered that (Aside from Jen and Justin but I think I have mentioned that before). Will and I got to go out on a date!!! We went and had awesome veggie fajitas at El Cholo and then stopped at Borders to browse. What a blast. it's so nice to have time to enjoy eachother, which is something we have been doing VERY little of lately. He is such an awesome guy. I don't say that enough. He works so hard and loves Solomon and I so much! I am so thankful that he is the man I get to spend my life with.

We picked Solomon up and were headed home when my sister gave me a surprise call from the river where she went with the BF and his family. She was really upset about something that happened and (the girl who is pretty emotionless) she was weeping. I felt aweful. She was a 4 hour drive away. We talked about us coming to get her but she decided to to stick it out...and its a good thing...because...

At midnight, Solomon woke up with his famous 104 fever. I think this is his 5th or 6th one. He has no other symptom apart from serious teething (which has been the case with all the others) and I have finally convinced all those around me that he is just a rare case that gets a high fever with teeth. it goes away in about two days...every time. Most of the time he is just listless and quiet but I think because he is a little older, he was a mess. he was just crying and crying. I felt terrible! it's the first time since, oh I don't know, somwhere around infancy, that I haven't known what I could do for him. We did baths, showers, read to him, even resulted to a 6am movie...the latter seemed to help a bit. He just seems to be so miserable that he can't sleep. I finally broke down and gave him a fever reducer (cringes...I HATE it!!!! I ran out of my homeopathic fever reducer too!!! Why oh why didn't I pick some up this week when I was at Whole Foods?!?!?) And now he is napping. Sweet little bug...he still has his sense of humor. In between meltdowns he was wispering funny little jokes and tunes to me. I couldn't believe it...such a wonderful little boy that I adore with my whole heart!!

I am so blessed. God knew exactly what I needed...I am so thankful for my boys!

Silenced

This morning was a sad one for our family. It might seen odd or bizarre that a stranger could lay such a hand on someones life, but it has happened to us many time...this is just another one of those times.

Every Sunday morning, since Will and I have been married I think, Meet The Press has been blaring in our house. Will and I follow politics (him a tad more so than I, but that's just because he is smarter!!) and Tim Russert is a hero of Wills. You just look at the man and you know he is one of those who "gets it."

Friday at 1:58pm we heard of Tim's death. I was actually listening to Dr Laura in the car and the half hourly news came and and in my car I put my hand over my mouth and started to cry. I called Will immediately and told him. He is reading a book about the neo-conservatives and had just read something Tim had said in his book. We both sat on the phone in silence...with a few wow, I can't believe this's.

Solomon runs around the house on Sunday mornings asking for "Obama Movie" which is what he calls any of Will's political shows (haha...I LOVE IT). He kept saying "Timmy" when he watched (he is a total mocking bird!!!). We cried and cried. It was just so hard so see a man so loved by so many, and REAL person, with a son and wife and tons of friends and colleagues who adored him...as we did...gone.

It's really sad for his son, for his wife and everyone who knew him...we know that our Sunday's will never be the same...and neither will political journalism/reporting.

Ducky Days

Today my aunt and cousin watched Solomon while I did some errands. Their neighbor just got a little tiny duckling...so cute!!! Obviously he had a blast!!! Here are some cell phone pics and a little video to prove it :)

Who Would Jesus Bomb

Will found this video and we both just watched in awe. It's a powerful message...

Time Out

Well, it's a fact...I have been wondering if Solomon is truly understanding the whole consequense thing or if maybe, he wasn't. He let me know, that he, in fact, definately understands.

We have a general rule in our house, that toys don't belong in our mouth (of course it is a recent rule...since he started aquiring little cars with even smaller wheels.)

Solomon gets his Curious George stuffed doll out. He begins to take all of his cars and stick them in George's mouth. Then he says, "Time Out George" runs to the counter and gets the kitchen timer, sets George in timeout, and sits there with him until the timer dings. Then when George was allowed to get up, Solomon said, "All done. Sorry!" And gave him hugs and kisses hahahaha. This is our timeout routine. We sit with him while he it there and when it is over, we talk about it, say sorry and then have hugs and kisses. Poor George was really misbehaving, because he got about 15 timeouts this morning. It was so funny...but now I know...he get's it.

Tough

I'm having a tough day. Argh!!! I think my toddler traded in his listening skills (as if they ever existed) for more testy energy. It's been hard to do anything "fun" lately because he has been such a stinker! I am not the mom who tells her child no to everything, in fact, I think I'm pretty laid back. This is why I feel like he should listen the few times I tell him to cut it out!!! He answers me "ok" and "yes momma" to everything and either just ignores what I say and does it anyway or is to tempted by what ever it is I am pleading that he NOT do that he just MUST do it! I don't know which one it is. I just always feel like I'm doing the wrong thing, like I'm going to ruin him, clueless as to conquer this "mothering" task. I need answers!!! A magic pill perhaps??? :)

Which makes me sound crazy when Will and I talk about trying for another baby soon...huh? I can hardly care for one, why are we thinking this???? :) I'm not exactly sure but I really wish we could try like, oh, tonight! I am still carrying around 25 lbs of pregnancy weight (I know I know, he's 2...I'm depressed enough about it ok?!) and I'm terrified of gaining 50-60 lbs again and already have this 25 lbs still here. I fell like it would really push my emotional fragile self esteem over the not-so-good edge. Well then that makes me upset because if we want a baby, why does there have to be stipulations (my own). We should just be able to have another baby! I don't know. I don't think I'm even making sense...another reason why waiting is probably a good idea!

Financially everything is so up in the air. We are planning on moving back to PA in January after Will graduates. It's going to cost a lot to move from CA to PA but in the long run, it will be LOTS cheaper. Then, people keep letting me know that if I were working, and putting Solomon in daycare, our financial situation would be a lot more bearable. Well I can't find a babysitter to get acupuncture done, for an hour, exactly how I am supposed to find someone to watch him while I work a full time job...hmmm...you got me!

SO many unanswered questions and I certainly am not good with the unknown...I guess I just have to be brave and trust, 2 things that I really have no idea how to do...I guess all I can do i ask for strenght and know that if I really want it, it will come.

Baby and Body Drill

I just got back from the hospital... My friend Jenn just delivered the sweetest little baby girl!!! Jaidynn Audrey. 6lbs 2oz 19 in. She is SO tiny!!! I cannot believe it!! I cannot believe that Solomon used to be this little! Everyone is doing well...and man, do I EVER want another baby!!!

Here she is!

My sweet sister watched Solomon while I was at the hospital. Her and Solomon seemed to have a blast... (and yes I forgave her for calling my child a freak, forcing him to play "drill your face" her way, and for making fun of him saying "Sollie do it" haha).

Jesus and John

John The Baptist...what an amazing man to look to for advise. The guy wears camel skin, eats locusts and tells it like it is. I was reading that the beginning of Matthew today, where he is basically introduced. Matthew basically says, "Here is this wandering strange weirdo, eating bizarre things, wear funky clothes, probably a little stanky...but with all the courage in the world!!" Up walk the Pharisees (which I research today, they kept all the OT laws and traditions that were passed down verbally, they put the focus on keeping the law instead of focusing on the intent of the law. They wanted everyone who was different from them to be far and separated from them. They were all classes of people.) Sadducee's (which believed that only Gen-Deut were God's word and they were usually from a line of nobility.)and John just says, "Who do you think you are??? There is no fruit in your life. You are walking around using religion to further your political agenda!!!" (these are NOT my words, although I wish they were. This is what the commentary said after every verse that I was reading...I was really shocked/excited to see this!!!) Then he proceeds to say, "You will see, the Messiah is coming, He will show you the way and hopefully you will let go of your legalism, and open your eyes so that you can see the Way he will offer you...but I, I am not even worthy to carry His sandals." Wow!!! Next things you know, Jesus is requesting John to baptize him. Quite a testament to, well, many things.

Jesus' life is such a shining example of how to achieve a fulfilling life that is pleasing to God. Often times we get caught up in feeling "better" as if we have found "the way" to heaven. Others are just misled. This is something I grew up hearing in church...the pastor would so much utter the words, "Mormon, Jehovah's witness, Darwinist or homosexual" and the whole church would roar in laughter...as if the joke were on them, because, we "Christians" found the way...har har har poor lost souls...??? What??? Show me, where does Jesus act like this. For instance, look what John says (above). He doesn't say, "You are screwed because you are a Pharisee...!!!" He says, "Hopefully you will lose the labels, you will embrace God, open your eyes and STOP BEING THE JUDGER OF SOULS!!!!" Now THIS is something that I never heard growing up. We were always the "better" followers of God, higher, more enlightened, not a "cult" because we said we were Christians. This divisive behaviour, was not attractive to me...which is why I now happily label myself as a red-letter Christian...

The words of Jesus have become a powerful tool in my life. It's funny because my family and lots of friends that I have, get (literally) offended when I bring up the words of Jesus. They say, "Well PAUL said...blah blah blah..." As if to negate the words of Christ, the one who they have named themselves after. I have to just chuckle, because when someone is talking "in their sleep" how can you expect logic."

I know I am rambling, but I do have some points. I hope that I have made a few already.

The next part that really jolted me when reading was the part about "using religion to further political agenda." Wow, aren't we there right now. I feel very strongly about my political stand point, however, I do not look down upon others if they feel differently. We have, currently, a man who says "I am a Christian man of God" leading our country. I can't judge that...I can only look at the "fruit" to use John's words, and see if his life backs that up. So lets see, Jesus says that the most important things are to care for the poor, the orphaned, the widows, love your neighbor as yourself." Ok so, bombing Iraq...I don't see up bombing ourselves, one down. The poor, the party that he is apart of leans toward, keeping our money to ourselves, not funding health care as much as is needed (or in my opinion free health care should be available to all, but that is an entirely different blog!!!), not giving to make sure that the less fortunate are taken care of...two down. And currently, rather than caring for orphans and widows, as a country, we are creating more. Three down...so far, all I can see is...well...not much. What is our president and his party for. There is the abortion issue (which just requires you saying "I'm prolife" but no movement toward actually changing anything)...which I am extremely passionate about...but I am not just anti-abortion, I am PROLIFE, all life, not just American unborn babies lives. Then there is homosexuality. I think that we get so carried away with forcing religious beliefs down the throats of people who life in American BECAUSE of religious freedom, that we often don't know how to separate "civil rights" with spiritual beliefs. Then, there is this illegal war that America is indulging in. All I can do is quote a few verse...the Bible says it, not me.

"Put your sword back in its place," Jesus said to him, "for all who draw the sword will die by the sword."

"From the fruit of his lips a man enjoys good things, but the unfaithful have a craving for violence."

"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God."

"You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.'But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you."

"But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you"

2 things: if you want the references, ask. There are tons more...but I think I made my point.

Now to kind of tie this all together. I notice that whenever I talk about this, people, at least the people in my"circle" get ancy. The feel as if because I am saying something slightly different that, perhaps they have been taught, that I am "falling away," "being influenced by new age, secular, 'worldly' things" "becoming too liberal." Well, Jesus was a good example of liberal. And I want to be one to. He wasn't conservative in anyway...especially his love, and I would have to say, I am happy to follow his example. I want to be able to be proud of my life, of my heart, and what I believe. I don't want to have to avoid certain topics just because I'm afraid that people are going to think I'm "back-sliding" "turning away" "being tolerant." I want to be tolerant. I want to teach tolerance, love, peace, selflessness to my children. I want them to know Jesus, to defend His words and to be forever grateful for his sacrifice...

To tie it all together, John paved a way, set an example. He said it was important to lose labels (be it religious, political, racial etc.) and have your eyes open, to not remove the INTENT from the Word of God, to not exonerate ourselves, but to live like Jesus, walk like Him, view the world as He did. And that my friends...is definitely where I want to be...

Peace...

Mountain Adventures

Tuesday morning, Will wasn't assigned at any clinic so we had the whole day together, just the three of us. I got this hairbrained idea to go up to Forest Falls, about 1.5 hours away. We got dressed in some layers because it was all cloudy and cool. I packed some lunches, snacks, and diapers and we were off.

Solomon is BIG on sleep. He loves his naps and can be a bit of a beast if he misses one. We braved the Solomon "elements" though. He slept for about 20 minutes in the car, as opposed to the 2, 2 hour, nas that he usually takes.

We got to Forest Falls at around 11am. We walke down to the small bridge where there is a tiny bridge. When I was young and used to come here there was a sweet little stair case with "little" stairs, that were very close together. Now there is a big concrete walkway...a bit sad. We walked down the trail to to the big creek and played down there a bit. Solomon was getting hungry and thirsty so we walked back to the car and drove back down the road to a picknik area that we had seen.

We got our lunch out and started to eat when out of no where these two really creepy guys passed us really slowly and were looking at us very strangely. Will, who is usually never freaked out and thinks I totally overreact to everything, was completely spooked by these guys. We packed our stuff up quickly, as he reminded me of a scary movie we had seen that this all reminded him of hahaha!

We drove back up the road to Forest Falls Trails. The road ends here and you cannot go any further up the mountian unless by foot. We ate in the car, changed Solomon, and loaded up with a bit of water. We hiked a little bit, and then went down to the water.

Solomon found some fantastic sticks and just sat on the ground, drawing with them. Once that was boring he started collecting rocks and throwing them in the creek. It was so much fun.

Solomon took off his shoes and splashed around in the creek for a bit. Then Will took it ALL off haha and they waded around.

Quiet, peaceful, sunshine...we meditated, talked and just sat in silence. It was truly one of the greatest days we have ever had as a family.

I cannot wait until we get to go back!!! It was such a wonderful day. We have been talking about it ever since...Thank you God for sweet memories...

A few more pictures...

Stick fun...

Mountian Bliss

Long hair = bliss haha

The Fam

More mountian bliss...

Here is a video...just so that you can experience a few moments of the glorious day.

Emma

I love Jane Austen. Books, movies based off of her books...love them. It's just a weird part of me. I am currently trying to watch Emma. Not the Gwyneth Paltrow version but the Kate Beckensale version. Its just a bit terrible. I can't even make it through this!!! Must turn it off!!

I Will Carry You

I have been on a very tragic journey of sorts, with a complete stranger, and I just cannot hold it in any more. I have "met" Angie, by traipsing around on blog after blog, and the story that she has been telling, and has invited me (and the rest of the world) to share with her, has really consumed me. I am dreaming about her and her family. I think about them all day long. I am sharing in her pain and grief. I just feel as though I have this dear friend who has suffered tremendously, and I cannot be there to comfort her. She is an incredible woman and has done a tremendous job enduring the horrific trials that have been laid before her. I want there to be more that I can do for her, aside from pray, and be so thankful for what I have been graciously given by my wonderful and amazing God. I wish I could watch her kids for her while she went out, or go have coffee with her and tell her that she is brave...so brave. Pray is all I can give her and sometimes it just doesn't seem like enough.

As I have followed Angie's story, I have been completely overwhelmed by her incredible bravery. She is so brave. I can barely find the strength to live through some of my pretty uneventful days...yet she so willingly and with so much strength, just endures, trusting that God will see her through. It has been such an example to me, of the strength that I can tap into, if I really want it.

I have been shown what an unbelievable miracle...I must pause a minute: I have always heard "the miracle of life" and believed it, I guess, but I had a baby. I didn't seem so miraculous...but now, after hearing and seeing Angie's story, and suddenly hearing many many similar ones, I cannot stop thanking God for my beautiful, healthy, wonderful-in-every-way, baby boy. He is all that I could have ever asked for (ok maybe in my perfect dream, he would have listened a little better and had a few less tantrums haha) and I am so thankful for my miracle. He is truly that...and I cannot imagine life without him.

Angie's story is a beautiful one. it is one of the hardest things I have ever "been apart of." But I truly challenge you to read her story, and share it. It requires bravery just to read it, but it will change your life. Start at the beginning...it's only been a few months, and the story deserves to be told...