Thursday, February 28, 2008

Coffee and Momma's

I love coffee...mmmm...I got a $30 gift card for Starbucks for my bday...only $5.38 left...sadness. It's fantastic to get an iced coffe or iced Americano whenever I want.

Yesterday Solomon and I went to the park...TWICE. We went in the morning because I really wanted to make sure he was tired for a good long nap. It was a blast. He LOVES the slide...he calls it a "WEEEEEEEEE." The park we went to is quite large and had tons of grass for running. We took advantage of that. It was just wonderful.

We came home, took a wonderful bath and then headed to bed. He took the PERFECT nap. He woke up right at 1:15, ate lunch and were off to park #2. It was, um not even close to being a toddler friendly park. Gorgeous and wonderful, but a lake with thousands of duck, into which my son wanted to swim and ride ducks, not pleasant...haha...we still had a little fun...he ran like a mad man. The other momma's that we met there felt the same, um, madness. It was jsut really hard to keep track of a really roudy wild man. Hillary has two boys. Most of my friends have little angelic angles who do not make it was nice to be with some "normal" boys haha. It was lovely being the only one running after her child screaming, please stop, don't jump, ahhhhhh." We went to the library after that. It was jsut a really nice time.

I am glad that we got the chance to hang out with momma's and that I am able to drink coffee.
Life is beyond good.

P.S. I found a good homemade wipes recipe
• 1/2 c Aloe Vera Juice (soother)
• 15 drops of Grapefruit Seed Extract (which kills bacteria)
• 5 drops of Grapefruit Essential Oil
• Boiled water

Sunday, February 24, 2008


Solomon, in all his amazing smartness and cuteness, learned the sounds of the alphabet at about 10 months. He cannot for the life of him, figure out why some letters are also words. Tea, Pea, Bee...So I would have to say, in speaking for him, he finds the whole concept ridiculous. Perhaps that is why, when he would like tea (a favorite of his) he ask for T T T hahahaha as in the sound that the letter T makes. He does the same with pea and bee too but the tea thing just gets me everytime...he just holds up that sippie cup and says tttt tttt tttt...too cute!

Yesterday, we had a little birthday luch for me over at my Dad and Cheryls. We left Solomon with my mom...which has never happened for loads of reasons...but for some reason she agreed to help out...with lots of discussion and arguing to go along with it. I didn't even want to leave him with her. She seems unequipped...but Will convinced me that he would be ok for 3 hours. We had myu siblings and our friends, Will and KelliAnn was SOOOO fabulous. I can't tell you the last time that Will and I went out. I don't think its ever happened in almost 2 years. It was great...we got to talk with ... ADULTS!!! It was just really fun and relaxing. I know I speak for both Will and I when I say we were so hapy to get home to Solomon though...we missed him!!!!

We were both really tired but we still decided to watch a movie after Sol went down at 7. The Bible Tells Me So. If only all churchs would require this movie to be was incredible. So sad how followers of Christ forget about Jesus and his message all together. It was abotu homosexuality and the devastating role that "christians" play in their lives. Churches were rallying together holding up signs that read "God wants the faggots dead." So sad... I can't say much else about it right now. I am just really digesting the whole thing right was a must see though...

We did get into bed my 8:45 and Solomon slept until 6:51 which was great!!! I feel rested today...its lovely!

Friday, February 22, 2008

The Toofers

Well, today, for the first time, I had dental work done. I still have had no cavities but I had this slight hole/erosion that was sensitive so that had to "fill" it. Ever since having Solomon, I kis you not, I am terrofied of pain!!! I was sooo scared that my hands were shaking. I was frantically texting Will and my sister, April. I was so scared. Turns out, the shot didn't hurt that bad but can I say, this numb, fat lip, fat tongue feeling is just horrific!!!! is finally, 4 hours later, starting to wear off...I hope to never have to do anything like that again.

On much more exciting notes, Solomon had a Dr appt today. I like to call them weigh/ measure appts because that is all we have done. We don't vaccinate or do any of the other "typical" things but I just like to get his weight and length. Maybe someday I will get my own baby scale haha. He is in the 95 percentile in height and 75 for weight. I was worried about his weight a little bit just because he isn't the biggest eater but was relieved to see that even the med community thinks its normal. Whew! The Dr did say that he should be off his bottle by now :( I tried to make a few excuses but I am just trying to do what I can. I know that I know Solomon I just need to realize that...and not stress over everyone else's opinion.

Another sweet Solomon moment...he was playing with some DVD's and came across Dumbo and I have not heard another word since then...he is obsessed with it. I have finally given in to letting him watch it right now...he is totally hypnotized haha...I hate the TV/Movie idea, but sometimes, I suppose I just need to lighten up and relax...thats where Will comes in to balance me out...

Well I work tonight...nannying...just a short shift while Cliftons parents go out for bit...hopefully it is uneventful...

I just feel like I need to reiterate how much I LOVE this avenue of has really brightened up my state of mind :)

Thursday, February 21, 2008


I am in a pickle...well a few.

So Solomon ended our breast feeding completely at 13 months. I was devastated...he was just over it. Now, he is 20 months and we still have "baba's." I don't think it is the greatest thing that he will only drink his "milk" aka soy formula (yes he is still on formula, he doesn't like any other kind of milk) but I just don't know how to give it up. He is such a busy little bee and before nap/bedtime is the only time that he will sit and cuddle with me, while we have a bottle. I decided to lessen the amount and we are down to 4 oz at nap time bottles so (1 or 2 depending). I almost just want to give up because I love our sweet time together. He already rejected me haha when it comes to nursing...I will be so sad when bottles are gone. He gets sad everytime he finishes him measly 4 oz...he musters up some tears and says "more baba momma!" sad...whats a mother to do.

Another do I find time to work out. I want to go to the gym but I have no babysitters and with Wills hectic schedule, there is little to no time...unless I take from the less than 2 hours Will and I get to spend together during the day...I don't know...hopefully I find a solution soon.

I am really glad that I have this separate place to blog...really glad...

After finishing the books of John, I am now starting Ecclesiastes. Its one of my favorites. I am really looking forward to diving into it.

Lord, give me wisdom and self control!

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Joyful One

I feel asleep last night in a bit of sadness, grief, for people that I don't know. Will and I just prayed and cried for a loss that we found out some complete strangers across the country recently endured. I woke up feeling very renued and comforted...grateful even. Solomon and I went on a walk this gloomy misty morning and I just felt so completely happy to be his mom, to be Will's wife. We took the opportunity to pray as we walked, thanking God for the things He has given us, praying for the sadness of those around us. It was just a tender and precious hour for us...I am so glad that we got to experience it.

Ok so on Sunday I found this blogger...her blogs and videos just totally altered the course of my very sad, dark emotional day. I emailed her to tell her that. The next day I came back and read some more of her blog. She talked about dear friends of hers who lost thier daughter as she was being born. It was a terribly tragic story. I was weeping as I read it. Anyway, since then, I cannot shake these people, not that I want to. Will and I spent a good bit of time in tears and prayer last night before bed. Today I got an email from her to say that I had somehow encouraged her by my telling her how encouraged I was. It is just such a testament of Gods greatness. We are just little people in a big big world, but some times us little people are doing some great altering and touching the lives of others.

Joyful...sad or not, I never really understood how to be joyful amidst such sadness or feelings of defeat. The key, though I didn't really grasp it last night, was praying for OTHERS. Today, praying for Jennie and her friends and family, turned my day into one full of joy...its truly the work of an unequivical God.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Get out of yourself

I always find myself ending the day in what feels like defeat. I just seem to be sad and I want to be rid of it. So many things are making me feel...weary, I suppose is the word. I want so much more out of myself. I am just becoming of tired of wanting something, more than ANYTHING, and not being able to achieve it. The state of my emotional heart has been so wishy washy...tearing at everything...I can't make up my mind, or I think I have...then I can I just rise above and rest in the love that is fully mine, knowing that He will take care of my needs if only I would tap into the goodness and blessed assurance that He is.

I keep feeling like I want another baby. We can't at the moment...for an entire slew of reasons. Wills in school...he graduates in December but I just wish it were tomorrow. We are "renting" from my mother in what I call a glorified's true. Solomon will be 2 in June and he is still in out room...which I love, but having a room to live in, its been complicated to say the least. I want space. I want a kitchen. I want a home... We have been married for 3 years in May and I just want to feel separate from everyone else...just the three of us. December is close...just seems a little far at the moment. Can I handle another child? I mean, can I truly handle it? I constantly beat myself up over failing Solomon...always feel like I have to be perfect. With two, there is so much more beating up to be done I am sure. I am so happy with him...he truly is the rowdy, rambunctious, wild little boy that I always dreamed of. Should I just be content with just him and I? So much guilt... I need to be freed from it. It tackels every area of my life...I need to find freedom. So wait, Im getting lost here...oh yes, is an issue. Do I want to be pregnant when we make the long move from LA to Pittsburgh? Don't think so. We will have space then...ahhh...but Will doesn't know that he wants another child. He wants to have a decent practice before we try again. Space, Will, money, and the big thing... the weight. Ugh...I still have these last 20 lbs hanging on for dear life from Solomon...I HATE it...the deformity that has become my body after pregnancy, its an atrocity. I am just so unhappy in my own body... The change seems logical...but the more sad I become over the issue, the harder it become to conquer the beast.

I am seeing more and more the need to "get out of myself." I don't know exactly what that means but I think the key to the state of my emotions is just to let go, focus on selfless giving, to others, because when the focus is off of my self, I can begin to focus again. Freedom from teh guilt, the sadness, the unhappiness with my body will become an after thought and somehow the strength will arise to love the way God commanded me.

So many great things I have been learning in the books of John...the key is walking like simple and complex as a single thing can me, it is indeed the key. It is possible...I know that with my entire weak heart. I want to start tomorrow claim the possesion of the ability to walk like him... It is my purpose and it will give me purpose all in one glorius faithful moment. me to keep sight of the love that has been lavished on me so that I might be the fulfillment of what my potential allows...thank you God...for that power...