Sunday, December 20, 2009

Waving My Freak Flag

I've been having a tough time in the friend/people/social category lately. I always feel like a freak. Like I'm trying to sensor some part of me no matter who I am with, either because I don't want to be talked about when I'm gone, don't want to offend anyone else, don't want to be made fun of (to my face) or don't want to have "that conversation". I'm sure there are other reasons too...but why? Why do I find it so hard to just be me?

My freak flags
-I love Africa.
-I have a passion for saving the poor and orphaned.
-I try so hard (and hate myself when I fail) to love "the least of these"
-I don't fit in to any political party.
-I think that a socialist mindset would change the world for the good.
- I think America purposefully started most of the wars we have been in because of greed...we set a very bad example, and should not claim to be the super power of the world b/c its embarrassing.
-I do not believe we've been to the moon.
-I think all citizens of this country, deserve equal rights!!
-I don't think that all homeless people (or people using government assistance) are lazy and deserve to be where there are. I love giving them a little something and praying that God changes their situation.
-I think war is not what God wants for this world and I think it saddens Him.
-I think that every word of the Bible is important and valid...not just Paul's words or the New Testament.
-I think it is enriching to celebrate the holidays of the Bible, the ones Jesus celebrated.
-I think Jesus did not come to create a religion.
-I think that if He (Jesus) were to come to this earth now, modern day Christianity would crucify him all over again, because His message seems to be so offensive to so many of them.
-I value all lives, not just the unborn American ones.
-I think vaccines are toxic and harmful for my children.
-I do not trust the medical community 90% of the time.
-I do not take my kids to the doctor for sick visits, in fact they have only ever been to get weighed and measured. They have never had ear infections or been on antibiotics and I'm sure they would have if I would take them.
-I think our diets are a massive reason for why sickness is consuming our country.
-I believe in holistic medicine and homeopathy.
-I want to save the earth in every way I can.
-I LOVE being green.
-I wish I were Amish.
-I believe in Attachment Parenting and giving my children a voice in our family.
-I believe that difference and diversity are what make this world an incredible place.
-I do not like it when people who do not embrace difference.
-I hate being judged for being different and try to never do that to other people.
-I wanted to have a home birth, and that does not make me crazy.
-I think that giving birth naturally was the most awesome incredible high that I have ever had.
-I think the general public makes to many decisions based on fear and it is destroying our nation.
-I think that our words and thoughts can REALLY effect our lives.
-I've always wanted to be a surgeon.
-I want to start an orphanage for AIDS babies.

-I want to be loved for me, not judged because my views might differ from yours...
-I want to be sure of myself and not have to sensor who I am in order NOT to offend you.
-I want a friend who accepts me and all my weirdness and truely gets me..., I am starting something new. I am going to do my best to be me, to everyone, wave my freak flag and offend if I must...but I am not going to be ashamed of who I am and what I believe in...its to exhausting.


Amie said...

I love you for being YOU, Amber--most definitly not a "freak" but a gentle, loving soul who is so passionate about so many different things, things some people don't even give the time of day. You are unique and creative and just the way God created you to be. You should never be ashamed to be YOU, you should never hide your true self because you are worried about what other people think.

I hope i have never given you that vibe that I thought you were strange or weird with things we have discussed. I may not always agree with your opinion on things but I would never ever be judgemental or ever think differently of you because of a difference of opinions. I love your view on everything you love and want to do in this world and I pray someday that your goals will be achieved!

You are a sweet and honest person, and one im so very glad I have gotten to know so well over these last almost 4 months. You have opened my eyes to so much and for you I am so grateful.

Keep being YOU! you are the person God wants you to be and Im honored to call you a friend!

Amber said...

Oh are wonderful and lovely in every way...thank you sweet friend...why on earth do you have to be moving SO stinking far away!?!?!?!

Corin said...

Offend away my dear! Hahaha...I'm all about it :D

Something I've come to realize over the years...when it seems like people are SO offended and SO against you, really, most of the time, it's like a five minute deal in all reality. They get offended, they talk about for a few minutes, they get over it and go on with their day. I finally (because I used to feel just like you) came to the conculsion that I was way too worried about what other people thought about me and that I totally was not as big of a deal in their minds as I thought I was! It was actually very humbling. Once you can get to the spot where you're at now, ready to say, "So what! Here I am and you just gonna have to accept me!" Then, magically, life gets a lot easier.'s to a new era for you, may it be fully offensive and totally liberating!


Travel Heart said...

That's fantastic! Well spoken, strong, confident, and not "freakish".