Wednesday, November 12, 2008

When Baby Makes Two...what do I do???

I'm having a hard time with the fact that Solomon's two and a half years have passed me by so quickly. What have I been doing in this short time that made it zoom past me in what seems like a blink... Just last year, this was him... Now he is THIS.

He is going to be a big brother and I'm just not sure how I feel about that. I am super emotional and very worried about having two kids. There was a lot of favortisim going on when I was growing up and Im terrified of reversing it and always favoring Solomon. My fear gets a lot larger if our new baby is a girl, simply because I just feel like I haven't a clue what to do with a girl. I'm far from girlie, and the worst part is I feel completely incapable of teaching a little girl how to love herself dispite the hatred that this world offers her. I know God will give me the strength but it's a bit daunting. Talking to Candice yesterday, and hearing her sweet Jillian (20 months) ask the sweetest questions about her new little 1 month old brother Gabriel, made me feel a lot beter, and really excited... I really cannot wait for this little one to get here, but it does come with a lot of uncertianty...
I good thing would probably be for me to STOP blogging when I am feeling so hormonal...I feel like all I ever do is complain and rant on this blog... I want it to be a happy place...haha...good luck for the next 5 months I guess!!!

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