Tuesday, May 20, 2008

War War and More War

My dreaming last night was just awful. I need acupuncture!!! It really helps with nightmares!

I feel like the entire night was just dream after dream of me and some portion of my family being in the midst of war torn territory. It was horrible. Constant fear, constant hiding, constant running. I kept waking myself up and trying to stay awake so that I wouldn't have to continue the nightmare...but I just kept falling back into.

I woke up just feeling heavy. I have brought a child into the world amidst the wars that are going on and it has me passionate to do something about it. Collectively, as people, as a country, as a world, as a whole, we can bring about peace by just shifting our consciousness and being present. We can bring ourselves to now individually and in turn make world wide changes. I need this. Our world needs this on so many levels. I just don't know how to channel my passion and my mission into "convincing" others that peace is a necessity. All I can do is be present I suppose, set a standard and let my life shine. Lord help me...

Solomon woke up in a hissy this morning. I brought him home this cool "Mack" truck and motorcycle from Disneyland yesterday. He woke up crying, which isn't normal, but was yelling, through tears, "MACK!!!!! CYCLE!!!!!!!!!!!" So I went to get him up and he started thrashing and kicking saying, "NOOOO DADDY DO IT!!!!!" Ugh...good morning to you too sunshine! It's like he senses that Will has work/school and just doesn't want anything to do with me! He does all that he can to distract Will to keep him here. I feel sad for him because I know it is really hard to have such a good daddy who is gone so much. At the same time, I always feel like chopped liver, whatever that means. I spend my whole day with him giving him every ounce I can...and I get the daddy-do-it-card every single day!

Silence is now here, ah nap time. I must go indulge in the sickness that is watching the bachelorette...(cringes! yet is secretly excited)

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