Saturday, August 15, 2009

Just Unsure...

I wonder why I am so anxious and unsure of myself so often. I try so hard to be brave...but it is basicaly the hardest thing I can ever do...

You know...I have always struggled with anxiety...even since I was little. I am not a fan. But I do have coping skills now...

Will is away on business again. Its my first time alone with the kids. I mean, like for days and nights without him or my sister or whatever...

I hate the nights. I hate them even when Will is home. I hate when he falls asleep before I do. But when he is away...oh how I hate them. I made Shiloh sleep with me last night. How pathetic is it that I held her hand to fall asleep??? Pretty pathetic I'd say.

Its light out now...I could not be more relieved...




The privacy issue...I really want to make my blog private...and still think Im going to. But...I was thinking about just limiting my info about my kids, location and family...I dont know...Im toying with the idea...If all my favorite bloggers were private, I would be seriously missing out...but Im still sticking with what I am feeling about privacy...and praying about it...until the 2 week mark... Any thoughts???

3 comments:

Eli's Lids said...

I hate it when my hubby isn't home too. I can't sleep well. I have to sleep with my glasses on just in case something happens and I sleep with the phone in my hand. AND I go through every room in the house and bless it and rebuke the enemy. It's lame especailly since fear isn't from God.
Privacy... mmmm... my blog is a bit different in that it is also a business blog. Go with your gut and pray about it. Nothing is permenant, you can always un-private it. I also saw a good link once, I think it was called guilt free blogging. It talked about perspective... not living to blog but blogging about life.

Corin said...

Hmmm...I say if you're thinking about it that much, you will most likely feel it in your gut until you do it (going private). I'm only speaking out of my own experience. I thought about it FOREVER and once I finally did it, felt so much better. At peace.

Do what feels right. Don't worry about your readers, your viewers, your watcher, your "friends". It's you you have to fall asleep to at night.

Oh, and falling asleep with Shiloh...totally not pathetic. Mommies are people too. Everyone needs a warm body to fall asleep next too. And the people who don't have one, they're not as lucky as the ones that do.

I HATE nights too. Totally afraid of the dark. Always will be.

Amber said...

Im glad Im not the only one...Im not afriad of the dark when Will is here...oh but when he is gone...you will definately find me clinging to my infant for comfort haha