I read quite a few birthing blogs. The Human Pacifier is one of my favorites. She posted this video...
And while I loved it and was totally inspired by it, it kind of freaks me out. Not for reasons one might think though. I have really wanted to have a home birth for a second child... but I'm scared and I cannot figure out why. Solomons birth was in a hospital...with an OBGYN that I loved, who really pushed me to take nothing for my pain and do it totally naturally, like the birth plan that we went over together. After 26 hours of hard labor I felt like I was losing my mind...since I hadn't slept in 3 days, and I just wanted like an hour of sleep. I got the epidural and Will and I both feel no regret. Would I like to do it again? I would definitely try not to. I just...ugh...I just know that I could do it if I were at home but I get SO nervous thinking about it. It's not an issue of safety. There is nothing about a hospital that makes me feel safe. I just feel like Im not strong enough to go through more than 26 hours...it was SO much! I just remember telling Solomon, "Baby, you are our only child...for life" haha because the contractions were unlike anything I have ever ever endured...and Im scared that I would be a total wuss and fail at home. I need pep talked...major pep talking. I want to do it with my whole heart, and I hope that I find the bravery before baby number two comes our way...
This video is beautiful...and inspiring...and I hope with all my heart mine can somewhat resemble it...
3 comments:
Have you ever noticed how when a cat, or animal is giving birth it hides in a safe place to do so?
This could be why you were in labor for 26 hours. You didn't feel safe in a hospital and your body prolonged labor.
This being said having your second baby at home may be a completely different experience.
YOU CAN DO IT GIRL!!!!
First of all, thanks for the compliment of being a reader! I really enjoy reading your blog too. Oh, and, I also told Dakota she was our only child after her {34 hour} labor!
I totally have to second what Ness said above. I have personally experienced two very different kinds of birth. My first birth was a homebirth, but VERY long, and VERY difficult. Over and over I have attributed the length of my labor to the fact that we had every single family member over at our house for the entire labor. As soon and our midwife kicked everyone out, my labor picked up great!
With the birth of my son, I had NO ONE at our house. Not even my husband was home until two hours before his birth. It was just my daughter and I all day long {and my mother towards the evening}. We baked cookies, we read stories, we napped, I took a bath...it was so private and such a NORMAL routine. It really made coping with the contractions so much easier. I actually questioned over and over if I was even really in labor. I didn't actually acknowledge it as real labor until about four hours before he was born. And even then, the contractions never reached the unbareable point.
But, having said all that...I was always very comfortable with the idea of pain medication not being an option and of the entire idea of birthing at home in general. It has to be something you know is right for you and your family, because if it's not, that doubt can really affect your birth.
If you know that homebirth is something you really believe in, if you feel that it's the safest option for you and your baby, and know that deep down in your heart it's what you really want, and you know that fear is the only thing holding you back, then here is my advice...
Imerse yourself in everything homebirth. Read homebirth stories. Watch homebirth videos. Talk to women and families who have had homebirths. Because the more you see the normalcy of it, and the more women you witness go through the sensations, the work, the sweet, the tears...and suceed...the more you'll realize that you can do it just as well.
It really comes down to the fact that we as humans become what we are exposed to.
It's a personal decision where you choose to birth your babies. Do it where YOU feel most comfortable. Do it where you feel safest.
Wow...seriously, what great encouragement...Im going to really try hard to go with my heart, which says I want to and can do this... And now since its going to happen in 6 months, haha, I am devouring everything on can on home birthing. Thank you so much for the great great great advise, both of you!
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