Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Lately...

Its been an interesting week for me.  I have been up to some things...just little things.

Like...

I got this new purse.



















I made my friend Jeana some cupcakes for her birthday bash at Chipotle.


Was given this magazine page by Candice because this pretty much sums Shiloh up...

I fed Shiloh peas
Then fed her her toes...

Watched this grump fuss all over me!

Hypnotized my kids with Barney.
Did some February prep...




























Also, I got really overwhelemed (again) at the thought of homeschooling.  I tried to share it with Will and since he didn't seem to get it, we had a MASSIVE BLOWOUT tiff. ;)  I am so scared that I am doing the wrong thing as a parent.  I am so scared that I am ruining Solomon and Shiloh.  I worry so much about this.  Sometimes I do feel so alone because it is hard to find the "you're doing a great job" feeling inside of me.  I feel like if I had the right discipline techniques, Solomon would stop saying things like "stupid" and "shut up." Or if I was "tough eoung" I would let Shiloh cry herself to sleep every night until she slept alone, through the night.  I second guess everything I do and I just wish I would trust myself.  In my heart, I feel like I KNOW what my kids need, but with so many different people around, I always let thier opinions or ways of doing things cloud my view.  I'm trying really hard to just trust my heart, because I know that I have wonderful, attached children, who are so connected with us, other people, and thier own emotions and hearts, and so maybe, just maybe, I am doing something right.  I am trying with my whole heart and I just really want to have the right perspective and attitude.

Speaking of perspective, Kara Noel at Eli's Lids wrote THIS and wow...it is powerful.  Its a really short, wonderful read.  I cried (shocker right? ;))

2 comments:

Corin said...

Oh Amber, first of all I just <3 u! Your posts are always so entertaining, sorry to say that when you're feeling the way you are. But I laughed at the pics of the magazine cover and also you feeding Shiloh her toes and the grumpy face. I love your honesty!

Anyway, totally know that you are an AMAZING mom! Sometimes people who are really passionate about their kids education and their childhood experience feel like they're falling short. But that's just because you care so much. Really, youre kids are still soooooo young. I was feeling pretty overwhelmed and worried about what the "right" thing to do was with my own kids homeschooling, and I ended up finding all these great articles about "unschooling" our kids. It really refreshed my perspective completely. Like, from the age of birth to 7, kids should just be playing and exploring and getting to know the world around them! I even have decided to put away Dakota's flash cards, because after reading everything I have about the research of just letting kids be kids, I think it would much more benefit her to start something like that when she's older, like 5 or 6. Anyway, this is a novel, I plan on posting a lot about homeschooling soon.

Don't worry! You're going to do great!

KelliAnn Christensen said...

I actually have the magazine that picture came from and read that article the other day. Interestingly, she starts off saying that her daughter was up like four times the night before, and she could barely remember which times she nursed her back to sleep and which times her husband rocked her. Then she goes on to say that her daughter is two! I thought, "Hey, this sounds very, very familiar!" :) Luckily, my own daughter's sleeping has improved considerably. I hope it stays that way!
I agree with Corin. You are doing a great job, and you just have to trust that. Solomon is still young. "School" isn't really necessary. I would start preparing now (just for yourself), but I wouldn't worry about anything too structured until he is actually school-age (like 5). Of course, doing "structured" activities throughout the day is a good idea to prepare for a more school-like environment one day, but I wouldn't stress too much about what goes on, as long as you both have fun. Well, that was probably already stuff you know and didn't need to hear my opinion on anyway. Just know I love you and that you are doing a great job. :)