My sister is my very best friend in the world...very best. Will and I both would rather be with NO one else other than her and Solomon. She is the most wonderful person ever. She is a fabulous auntie to Solomon. [she watched him this weekend while Will and I went to a wedding and she took SUCH good care of Solomon. She even fed him broccoli for dinner, bathed him, AND text me constantly giving me a play by play, which I LOVE.] She helps us out so much and hangs out with us all the time. She isn't the most emotional person. I think I got a double dose and she got, um, NO emotion. She, most times, has the emotional capacity of a jelly fish...which works well for her most of the time because she just lets everything roll off of her...but there are the other times where she kinda explodes. She rarely cries, I mean almost never. She isn't very affectionate, so of course I always try to hug her and she says ewww and pushes me away haha. She is very mature for an almost 20 year old. She is a wonderful nanny to Rachel and Lauren. She is a great employee at the tanning salon that she works at with Will. She gets all her bills paid, all her school done and is the greatest sister I could have ever wanted...
Last night, her boyfriend, Brian, and her got in a fight so I tried to find out what was wrong. I went into her room and asked if they had worked it out and she said yes. I asked what happened and she said, "I think I was taking out my frustrations about other things on him." I joked, "Awww are you sad were are moving?" And she burst into tears. Her beautiful face got all red and tears were streaming down her face. I went to her bed, of course in tears, because I didn't think she would cry...and it is the WORST thing seeing her cry because you just know, if April is crying, something is REALLY wrong. I put my arm on her shoulder, trying not to be to affectionate and she leaned back into me and and hugged me. I just lost it inside. I tried really hard to be brave. Gosh I can't even begin to articulate how much I am going to miss her, but knowing that she is feeling so my sadness, shatters me.
She is taking all online classes next semester so that she can come out whenever she wants to...she still has the two jobs to work through that she HAS to keep working at because she just bought a new car. BUT...worst case scenario, my dad could always buy it off of her...he's been teasing her about because he likes it so much. She could always come stay with us for a semester or two and then move back...nothing is irreversible about this situation.
Its not that we can't live without each other. Its just that...well its going to be hard. Harder for her I think. All three, soon to be four of us, are leaving. We are only losing ONE of her and that is agonizing. But we have exciting things to look forward to like moving into our own SPACIOUS place, Will getting to start a practice...all she has to look forward to are living alone with my mother...yikes.
I'm really overwhelmed with emotions. I always feel like I'm abandoning her...always. its heart wrenching. Will is worried about her too. He adores her. They are such great friends. He wants her to move with us as much as I do. Every time I move away (always to move back, thus far) I know that she has always felt abandoned. I don't want to do that again.
We talked last night about how as soon as Will starts making money we can at least pay half for her to come out. She can come out whenever she wants to, stay as long as she wants, or never leave...
Oh April...I can't believe I am leaving without you!!!