Friday, August 26, 2011

Giant Slayer

They say, "Being a mom is the best, most rewarding job there is..." 


Because I mean, I'm sure it might be true, but its hard to really wrap my head around that.  I spend my days doing some really lame crap...refereeing fighting children, wiping butts, cleaning up crums from really random places, looking for teeny tiny lego men swords, watching more Bubble Guppies than any one person should ever have to.  That does not feel like the greatest job ever.  For me, a "dream job" would be elbow deep in someones chest cavity, stiching a heart valve back together.  But, that isn't wear I am.  I am a mom.  I have two fabulous kids, who crack me up, irritate the daylights out of me, and make me feel love in ways I never even knew were possible.  Its just I always go back to that "most rewarding" part.  How do you know?  You do your best, but its all out of your hands.  How many mothers look at their adult children and say "Look at was so rewarding."  I don't know if my own mother would say that...she probably would, but she is one of those crazy optimists.

Some days I just sit back and say, "God, is this REALLY what you have for me?  That's it?"  That sounds kind of awful but sometimes it just feels like my entire heart, soul and being has been swallowed up in wife/motherhood.  I used to think this was all I ever wanted...but now, I wonder, what will I ever do with my life once my kids are older??  I forget what it is like to have hobbies, or think of myself, or even remember that there is a "me" below the person I am now. 

Most of my friends finished college, were successful working women.  Why am I not one of them??

Pretty damaging frame of mind dont you think?

Comparing.  Limiting.  Maybe even paralyzing sometimes.

I have other friends who just know that this is IT for them.  They LOVE what they do.  They know they are RIGHT where God wants them.

That isn't me...I am not like that.  Why am I not one of them??

Comparing. Limiting. Maybe even paralyzing sometimes.

The curse of comparison is deadly.  First, it cuts you off at the knees.  Once you are sucked in, everyones lives are SO much more fulfilling, so much more successful, better in every it seems.  Second, you limit yourself from purpose, vision and an extraordinary life. Comparison robs us of our destiny.  The curse of comparison destroys what God's plan is for our lives.  Peoples blessings become our missed opportunity.  We feel defeated because we are constantly measuring ourselves against others.  The curse of comparison shrinks your world.

We are bombarded daily with lies. This is what it looks like to be beautiful.  This is what it looks like to be sucessful. Is what defines us what people see when they look at us?  Is what people say about us what we REALLY are?  Or are we measuring ourselves against the Word of God, what God's amazing, unique path for each of us is, and what He feels about us?

David is such an example of a Giant Slayer.  A warrior in every way.  Sure he slayed a nine foot tall giant with a stone.  But his road was full of overcoming things that were more threatening than even Goliath.  When David went to the battle field to check on his brothers for his father, he found a beast of a man mocking Davids God.  David was appalled.  He said "How can you let him talk like this about our God?!?!!  I wanna take this dude on!!!!"  So King Saul finally agrees to allow this boy, not old enough to be a soldier, to take this giant on.  BUT...Saul says, "You have to wear my armor.  THIS is how you fight."  So David puts on the armor.  Its was, of course, WAY too big.  So David says, "Whoa...this isn't me.  This isn't how I fight."  He doesn't get sucked in to worrying about how everyone else fights battles.  He doesn't feel like he can't be apart of what God has for him because he isn't like everyone around him.  So...he goes out.  Goliath starts attacking him, verbally.  He attacks who he is.  "You come to me, you are just a boy.  Look at the weapons you have, how pathetic."  David doesn't waiver.  He knows that God has magnificent things planned for him.  He doesn't compare himself once...he fights on.  He defeats Goliath.  Despite the cricism...he never once starts comparing himself to all of the other professional warriors around him.  He is perfectly unique...and he followed and trusted in Gods perfectly unique plan FOR HIM.

God has a promise for each of us.  It is up to us to allow Him to be in control. He wants to do AMAZING things through us.  No matter where we are.  He has us where we are for a reason...but if we are caught in a web of comparison, we cannot even see far enough to grasp onto the amazing plan that He is offering us...

What is defining our lives?  Is it what God says is possible?? Being true to yourself never works...because self cannot offer us what God can offer us.  Self's defintion of us can never ever compare to what God says we are.

The best, most rewarding job ever??? 

Its right at your finger tips...GRAB IT, from RIGHT where you are...


Corin said...

Oh my gosh Amber....THANK YOU for writting this! This blessed me so much my eyes filled with tears.

I miss you! I know we are both busy mama's going through our daily routines and blogging takes a back seat. But I still loooove to see posts from you! And this one just made my week.

I agree 100% with everything you said. And I can totally identify with your feelings about this being "it", this is the most rewarding job on earth? I totally feel like that from time to time, when I get stuck in that little pinhole of vision. The laundry is piled, the dogs are barking, breaking up the fights between kids, it can be SO overwhelming, and even worse, underwhelming at the same time.

David and Goliath was such an awesome example to use with this subject. Comparing ourselves to other moms and women at this time in our life, come so easily and effortlessly. And NEVER produces anything good or profitable. So why do we do it so often?! Haha. The mysteries of the human nature.

Thanks again for this. You're such a blessing to other moms out there.

Travel Heart said...

Now that's ironic. I'm on the flip side of where you are and I'm sometimes desperately jealous of your life. Not "your life" in general like "husband + kids" but Your life specifically Amber. I know how much you love Will and how awesome your kids are and I want that. I have no delusions that it's perfect, I know you guys fight and that the kids can drive you crazy, but it still sounds awesome from where I'm sitting. This is not meant to come across as a rebuke at all, just my heart dealing with the reality of my life, relating to yours dealing with the reality of your life.