Friday, February 24, 2012

It Only Took 30 Years...

My entire childhood was spent in a bit of a "Christian bubble."  My 3 siblings and I went to Christian school, which was also our church, had very strict parents, I knew all the books of the Bible in order by the time I was 5 years old, would tell everyone I knew "about Jesus."  It wasn't really a personal relationship that I had established (yet), but more like a way of life...I am Amber, I am Caucasian, I am a Christian.  It was just the way it was.  My parents didn't drink, didn't swear (like EVER! I'd do anything, even now, to hear my mom drop the "eff  bomb" lol I digress) and made sure that they protected us from every single bit of worldy corruption that there was. 

What a job! Right???  I mean, that is quite a task in every possible way.  One of thier biggest sacrifices to raise us according to their convictions was definately financially.  I just looked up the tuition cost for the school that we went parents, very humble but hard working people were paying close to $3000 a MONTH to send us there.  My dad fought hard for us.  He was/is a police officer and worked hard to allow my mom to stay home with us kids.  I can't imagine what it requires to make such a huge sacrifice.  And you know what the 4 of us kids did???  Complain...say how much we hated it...even after we were all graduated.  I can't tell you how many times we would sit a rip that school apart.  I swore, I would never ever send my kids to a Christian school.

I didn't like school.  I didn't like my school.  As an adult, I thought they should have put more emphasis on our academic education instead of the religious aspect.  I felt like that was the job of my parents, to instill those values in my, AT HOME, not at school.  However...if I wanted a better education academically, I could have pushed myself further.  I hardly tried.  I had a few amazing teachers (Mr K, Mrs Stip, Ms Lake) who have made a massive impact on my life, and who also really taught me a LOT!  But my experience, overall was negative.  Looking back, Im sure a lot of my experience had to do with my attitude, enduring my parents nasty divore during Jr High, and overall just some major life altering things that really shifted my heart, soul and mind. 

I have a Kindergartener right now.  I am homeschooling him currently (something else I swore I would never ever do), but we are looking to send him to school next year.  We looked at our districts public school.  Its nice.  VERY large!  Lots of kids, kids that live close to us.  But I have a nagging in me that I never thougth would be there...

This last year has been a big one for me.  I have realized a lot.  I have realized that while my overall school experience was not pleasant, I have something that many people do not.  I am by no means smart (infact, Im really a little dumb) but I have something that I took away from Christian school that has saved me and contiues to save me daily.  It isn't geometry (although that was my favorite subject in school), its not World History...its this insane amount of Biblical knowledge that I never even realized I had.  I mean, I am about as far from a Biblical scholar as they come, but the things I know, I know because of my amazing parents and their amazing sacrifice to raise me according to their convictions.  Because of their sacrifice, I am practically applying tools that I know and learned only because of them.  Sometimes I look around and so many people are just really struggling (as am I)...but I have just been overcome by the realization that my parents were phenominal.  They failed, majorly, at times.  They made huge mistakes.  They have hurt me, and we have fought and screamed and there have been times were we haven't spoken to each other for a long time.  But looking back, I have an example of what I want to be like.  Even though my parents and I still disagree on plenty of things...they sacrificed everything to raise us and equip us in every way possible.  My siblings are amazing.  They love God with all their hearts...and they live their lives accordingly.  My parents will say Gods hand was upon us growning up, but my parents, man...they definiately did something right.  They dedicated us to the Lord, handed us over to Him, and did everything in their power, including sacrificing financial security, to protect, mold, shape and nurture us.  What an amazing thing!

So, back to that nagging, Will and I don't know what we are going to do for our kids schooling.  But we have definately been exploring our options...even Christian schooling.  These little souls are in our care...what a gincantic, daunting and, at times, frightening task.  We want to prepare them to be giving, loving, grateful, merciful, kind souls, who give their lives in thanks to the Great Rescuer.

I hope that Will and I can look back and say, "Wow...these kids are amazing...thank you God for giving us the strength, the wisdom, the love and power to raise them to be all that You desire them to be..."  My prayer for my kids is that they are deep vessels for what the Lord has in store for them.  Through valleys and mountains, they search for the Lord...because He has allowed us to raise them and prapare them for the rest of their lives...

Here is to my incredible parents who gave everything for us...and still would to this day!! 
And cheers to Christian School!!! haha amazing!!!!

1 comment:

Charlene said...

A good reminder that when you do the best you can for your kids, when you sacrifice, when you pray, when you love them, no matter how flat that love falls, it makes a difference in the long run. A good reminder that, as a parent, even when we feel we are failing or feel that we aren't making a difference, or feel unappreciated, we are producing children that will understand someday. Also an interesting insight into education and the thought that it may be exactly as my dad once wisely said to me, "it will be what you make it." Public school, private school, homeschool, unschool... the outcome will eventually be based on the child, their attitude and their choices.