Friday, May 29, 2009

Love Is Abundant...

We'll start off with some photos from my mom, Aunt and cousins visit...
My aunt took tons of photos and I really haven't found much time to take any...
so thanks Aunt Laura for all the memories :)

Aunt Laura
My mom






Well...it has been a long time. I know that I really want to share my birth story, but I am just not ready yet. It was such a crazy, wonderful, perfect time and I am having so much trouble doing it justice...so it must wait.

I do want to say, Shiloh is amazing. She loves to nurse. She loves for me to cuddle her...and by cuddle i do mean, literally nuzzle into my armpit. She like really really loves me...and oh my goodness, it melts me. She is such a wonderful little baby. I have no complaints whatsoever.
Something that I am ready to share is this... although I don't know which avenue I would take for another birth (Will says there will be NO MORE...but in case he changes his mind ;)) ...pushing that little amazing child out of me naturally was the most amazing thing I have ever experienced. I was at the point in my laboring where I thought I could not go on...I was literally longing for a c-section (gasp, I know...Im just being truthful) I was blacking out and couldn't breath and was finally being reassured YOU CAN AND WILL PUSH THIS BABY OUT!!!! From somewhere deep inside of me, I found strength that I did not know existed...and tapping into that strength was the most incredible thing I have ever experienced. The most amazing feelings came over me...it was truly remarkable...the best part was, accoplishing such an amazing thing, in my opinion, THE MOST AMAZING THING, allowed me to know that all of my fears about not being able to love Shiloh the way she would need, were nothing to worry about any longer...for I have within me the strength of a million mothers...and I am capable of being everything she needs...forever...
My sweet little Solomon is IN LOVE with "sister" as he calls her. He loves to hold her and tell her "its ok sister" when she cries...and he tries to share all of his cars with her. Its amazing. He just wants to look at her non stop. There have been NO negative sides to bringing Shiloh into our lives AT ALL...he hasn't acted jealous or different at all...its been more perfect than I could have ever ever dreamed of.
We have visitors in and out till the end of July...haha...so its still crazy here...which is why im also having trouble getting my birth story worked on...the last thing I want to do if I have a moment of silence is sit at the computer. And Shiloh is getting so big so fast that I can hardly bare to spend a moment away from her...
All is well, love is abundant...and life is exactly as it should be....

3 comments:

KelliAnn Christensen said...

Amber, this was such a fun post to read. I loved what you said about the birth experience and how when you felt you could do no more, you found a hidden reserve of strength within you. I am so glad that that experience has helped with your fears and insecurities about mothering a girl. And lastly, I am so, so happy (and somewhat hopeful for myself) that Solomon is totally okay with everything and that life is actually better than before Shiloh came into your family. I am just so happy for you, Amber!

Corin said...

Your little family is growing so beautifully! So happy for you all!

Robert and Hannah said...

oh my gosh she is so freakin' adorable!!! she looks so much like you it's like not even funny. <3 <3 <3