This image is etched into my head.
Two close friends, who love each other, dancing closely and sweetly, to Rascal Flatts Bless The Broken Road.
Will and I watch our friends, and both listened to the lyrics of the song that we have both heard a thousand times. I, of course, teared up...and we just moved closer to each other and had one of those full circle moments together.
Our lives are far from "hard" in the grand scheme of things. We were not kidnapped from our homes, held captive and raped for 18 years. We were not forced into slavery as children. We had fairly "blessed" lives with family who did their best. We had lots of "things." But there was a lot of brokenness, abuse, loneliness and pain. I remember just feeling so alone for so long. Everyone was moving on with their lives, but my heart ached. I remember hopelessly feeling like no one would just love me for me. Offering myself to people in ways that I never ever should have, but just desperate, to know that I was worth something. I was searching...through all the brokenness...
It always felt like such a mess...everything was a mess, and usually, it was always pointed out to me that it as MY fault. I remember being so little and just knowing how I was messing everything up. If I could have just been quieter, better, happier, less emotional, it wouldn't be such a mess. Oh, the pain, I can still tap into that feeling today...it was almost unbearable.
I can look back now. That broken broken road....it led me right here, to where I am. I am married to the love of my life. He is the man who drives me crazier than anyone I have ever met, the man who stirs fires within me, the man who, no matter how scared and afraid I am, just calms me by holding me close. How did I get here? I needed him my whole life...he is every dream that I ever dared to dream. He is all the things I wanted and things I never knew I needed. He is here, because of all that brokenness. I know I would have never found him down any other road.
Because of him, we have our two amazing kids, which are the completion to us. We live in a beautiful house, in a beautiful place, surrounded by the most amazing friends we could ever wish for...things are far from perfect, but man, they are PERFECT for us. We are still broken people, but this road that we are on, all of the incredible blessings we have....we couldn't have it unless God blessed the broken road, that led us right here...
And to those two beautiful dancing friends, we are so thankful that our road led us to you too...
