Photos, Politics and Power of Words

We will start off with a little photo dump...its been a long time since I have done one of these...

Sunday...my very favorite day of the week.  Church.  I wish everyday were Sunday.  I completely <3 my church...like seriously, completely!  We usually hit up Mad Mex afterward, which I love to do.  (Inset inner struggle music) BUUUT...imagine if we put that $40 a week toward something much more valuable. [Mental note:  talk to Will about this]  So here is Will and Shiloh waiting for food.  See, she doesn't care about anything other than shoving her face full of chips and guacamole, and she definitely isn't going to look up for a photo.

Mr. Cool and his mom.

Do we see this face????  Clearly, Im ANNOYING! :)

My kids = OBSESSED with this new(ish) show called Bubble Guppies.  The theme song - awful!!!  But this is what it does to them...kinda hilarious.

We aren't huge fans of meat in our house.  Let me rephrase that...anything with tendons, bones, gristle, and blood...its SUPER hard for me to eat, ok, I just can't do it...makes me hurl.  Skeeves me right out.  But we love the Quorn brand of meat substitutes.  Same taste, no gristle/blood/tendons:)  Anyhow, I found Quorn meatless crumbles and made the most delicious meatless loaf ever!!!!  Topped with Morningstar meatless bacon...it was a meat haters meatless delight :)

This was an awesomely delish Indian dish.  Brown cilantro rice, Quorn chickenless breasts simmered in a spicy Bombay curry sauce and garlic naan bread.  Yum!

If you know Will, please let me point out, he is eating a donut.  Yeah...I said donut!

Look who went and potty trained herself.  Seriously, she put underwear on BY HERSELF almost 2 weeks ago and its been ALL HER since then.  Cute as a button huh?  All 22 lbs of her.  Um...she will be 2 in like 3 weeks...WHAT???????

Its Spring...and well, winter here in Pennsylvania SUCKS, so I am THRILLED.  I finally broke out the Rainbows yesterday...it was in the 70's yesterday AND my kids got sun burnt outside.  Awesomeness.  Bring on the heat baby!!!

Thats about it in the photo department.  Since I fed you all of these photos, may I rant a moment?  Facebook annoys me to no end these days and I'm seconds away from deleting my account (again).  My news feed is so full of President criticism over the budget crisis.  First and foremost, I would like to say, it is DISGUSTING to make our service men and woman go without a paycheck.  BUT, so many of those posts are saying things like "Hey Obama, stop going on vacation and pay the military."  Really?  Sounds pretty ridiculous.  Well...perhaps, if those same posts would have not been singing President Bush's praises not so long ago and would have, instead said "Stop wasting our money on a war you all lied about to get us into and get our military OUT OF THE ILLEGAL WARS you started!!!"  I would be less annoyed.  Instead it was "Oh he is such an amazing man of God and he is so awesome and yeah, bomb the middle east, blow it up for all I care."  Seriously????  We are in this budget crisis for a reason that had NOTHING to do with our current President.  Too bad there weren't more "Please pray for our President" posts right now, because, after all, he is just as flawed as the last President, and just as flawed as all of us....

I have a very special friend who I adore and admire in every possible way.  Her husband has been deployed WAY TOO MANY times and even missed the birth of one of his sons.  I am tearing up just thinking of how special this family is to me...and...how it is ridiculous that he had to fight in a war that should have never been started.  AND that he now may not be getting paid???  Its awful...

Wouldn't it be nice if Americans were not so divided?  One side worships EVERYTHING their "people" do, no matter how disgusting and then when their "opposing team" does similar things, those same actions are just HORRIFIC!!!  Why can't we just bind together, admit our horrible wrongs and mend this broken country...

Pardon the soap box...Ive stepped down :)

Oh my mouth, it is a weapon sometimes (hence the last few paragraphs.  Im so sorry!)  I try really hard to tame my tongue.  Words are so so powerful.  They destroy and hurt and separate.  In the same breath they can heal and uplift and love.  It's been interesting for me since moving to a new place, making all new friends.  It's hard.  The friends I have in Southern California I grew up with.  I knew everything about them.  There was no questioning "Does she like me? Is she talking about me to other people?  Does she like me??"  A lot of it can go on and it is so damaging.  It cuts into what could be real, strong friendships.  I really have had to just let go of it all.  If people want to listen, they can listen.  But it really is only damaging their own lives.  It is so easy to get sucked in...SO EASY.  I have been guilty of it many many times.  But I don't want it any more.  My prayer is to take every word and thought captive and throw out the garbage, leave it, and never participate in it.  It has the power to destroy lives.  It is not a loss to lose someone who is constantly feeding people with dividing, hurtful words.  In the end, its not a friendship that I would want to, or will hold onto.  Its hurtful to be talked about.  I do not want to hurt people.  I am so thankful for the strong wonderful amazing beautiful friends that light up my life, uplift me, and care for me in ways I could never repay...

James 3 says this about the tongue...and it cuts...deep.  
1-2 Don't be in any rush to become a teacher, my friends. Teaching is highly responsible work. Teachers are held to the strictest standards. And none of us is perfectly qualified. We get it wrong nearly every time we open our mouths. If you could find someone whose speech was perfectly true, you'd have a perfect person, in perfect control of life. 3-5A bit in the mouth of a horse controls the whole horse. A small rudder on a huge ship in the hands of a skilled captain sets a course in the face of the strongest winds. A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything—or destroy it! 5-6 It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that. By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell. 7-10 This is scary: You can tame a tiger, but you can't tame a tongue—it's never been done. The tongue runs wild, a wanton killer. With our tongues we bless God our Father; with the same tongues we curse the very men and women he made in his image. Curses and blessings out of the same mouth! 10-12 My friends, this can't go on. A spring doesn't gush fresh water one day and brackish the next, does it? Apple trees don't bear strawberries, do they? Raspberry bushes don't bear apples, do they? You're not going to dip into a polluted mud hole and get a cup of clear, cool water, are you?

At the end of my life, may it be said that I was trustworthy, giving, kind and a follower of Jesus...

Uprooted and Four

Who ever said "Home is where the heart is" is a big fat liar.

18 months ago, Will, Solomon and an in utero version of Shiloh and I moved from sunny Southern California to Western Pennsylvania.  I was excited.  We were all excited (mixed with EXTREME sadness) for what we thought would be a new and exciting adventure...

It didn't quite turn out that way. 

What makes it hard is going back to California for visits, and seeing what we are missing...and then coming home to a void that cannot be filled by dear sweet Pennsylvania.  There are so many things that we love here.  The season changes (apart from that awful one that brings all that white crap that forces you to stay in the house for like 5 months straight...ugh winter!) the beautiful greenery, the way the air smells, thunder storms, and just nature in general...But when we got home to California, its just different.  Everyone is swarming around to see us.  There isn't enough time to even fit everyone in, which is just so flattering and amazing, that I nearly burst just thinking about it.  There is so much love there...and nothing can compare to that.  My kids were in heaven.  Disneyland, the beach (did I mention heaven??), family, friends, sunshine and love...doesn't get much better than that.  I just walked around Disneyland remembering going every week, pushing Solomon in his stroller.  I watched my kids just LOVE their time there and I imagined it being a time where I could live that life again.  The beach became a magical place that I can't ever remember it feeling like.  Both of the kids seriously just wallowed in the water, cracking up when the waves were crashing on them.  They literally rolled around in the sand for hours...oh how I miss it. 

It was so great to just hang out with old friends who have been apart of you for more than half of your life (woah...am I old or what???).  You don't have to be anyone or entertain...you just sit, and be.  That is a good feeling.

And family...oh family.  You are weird and coockoo, and often annoying and embarrassing ..and there are times where I probably almost hate some of you ;) but being near you was so completing...Will and I feel like we still belong there in so many ways.  Its painful to feel so out of place for so long...and its breaking my heart that my kids are missing out on so much...they deserve to have nearby what they have in California.

I am really working hard and digging deep...trying to "bloom where I am planted" but until now, I don't think I actually realized just how deeply rooted I was.  I feel like someone ripped me out of the ground, and my foundation, my roots, are still on the other side of the country.  I don't know how to right that.  I don't know if it is intentional.  All I know is that I am sad.  We are sad.  Its nothing that any one thing, or any everything could change...its just that there is a California shaped hole in our hearts and I'm pretty certain that it cannot be patched up.  My heart hurts...and Im genuinely looking for any words of support/advise that you are willing to offer...

In other much more spectacular news...Solomon is FOUR years old today...The most beautiful four year old I know.  I love him with my entire heart!!!!

Birth Day

One Wonderful Year

Two Wild Years

Three Incredible Years

Four Unbelievable Years.

Busy Beezzzzzzzzz

My mom is here for 10 days so we are keeping busy with her...

Yesterday for Easter, my mom forced me to allow Shiloh to wear one of those horrible Easter dresses that you likely wore...you know, 20+ years ago...omg!  The poor child looked like a garden puked on her!!! haha  Here are a few little photos of her.

More photos to come.

Walkin' All Over Me

As usual, Shiloh own me...she is still having sleep issues.  Every two weeks or so she will give mea night where she only wakes up twice.  But usually it is 4 times or more.  So yeah...not only does she walk all over me...

BUT....

She is walking all over the house :D!!!!  So proud of her.  Its not technically all over the house, but she is taking 4-6 steps at a time and because she is so stinking tiny its super cute.  She also can climb all the way up stairs in about 15 seconds...pretty impressive!

She's a CD addict...like me.

This definately sums up thier relationship haha

On another note, Solomon has been super sensitive lately.  He used to be the bravest kid ever...like, would get seriously hurt and wouldn't flinch and he just never cried abotu anything.  Now, the slightest bumps and he is like falling apart and needs super long cuddles.  Poor thing.  He is really been longing for more and more attention...Also, his elbow pooped out of the socket AGAIN!!!  Thats three times now.  I popped it back in though so thats good, no trips to the ER.

I have been getting ride of abuot 50% of our belonings.  Its been SO time consuming and SUCH a process but omg, I am feeling SOOOO great.  As of tomorrow afternoon, this house will be spankin' spotless!!!  :)

Welcome Spring

If you remember THIS post  here is the 2010 version of Spring birds nests...2 years later.  My how things have changed.

I Love Them!

Sleepless (and slightly crazy) In Snowmageddon

The last two weeks have been two of the most trying weeks of my (and Im sure I can add Will into this too) life.  I have blogged and blogged about Shilohs sleeping issues.  At five months, all hell broke loose and things have been getting worse and worse for the last four months.  She goes to sleep easily, but staying asleep, a whole other story.  Some nights I can nurse her right back to sleep, other nights, I am up for 3 hours.  I dare you to give me advise that I haven't tried.  Earlier bed time, later bed time, take a nap away, bed time routine, bath, lavendar massage, let her cry for 1 min- go in and comfort and then double the time each time you leave, let her cry it out for up to an hour (I even did up to 90 minutes one night, while hysterically crying outsdie the door bc I hate the cry it out method. she never ever calmed down, not even a little)  hold her, rock her, walk/jostle/sing routine, seriously...EVERYTHING.  Its really hard.  And you know what?  I never imagined that such prolonged sleeplessness would start to alter your state of mind, but oh how it has.  Her not sleeping also stirs up this anger in me.  Do you know it?  The sleeplessnes in combination with the anger just gives me these horrible thoughts, resenting my own child, which then adds terrible guilt to the equation.  How can a mother who loves her baby so much resent her own child at times??? 

She has had a cold.  Which, mothers know, means sleep issues x100!!!  After 2 nights of her sleeping an accumulated total of maybe two hours, I had completely lost my mind.  I cried for an entire day.  I was trying to hard to reconnect with her during the day, but the night had been so horrible that I seriously had to prepare myself to even hold her because I was so upset about it.  I sort of just shut down.  Thank God Will was home!!!  That day, she ended up with a fever and her cold, which was improving, got worse.  Runny nose, hacking cough, just total misery.  She took one nap that day, which is unusual.  Then bedtime...oh bedtime.  I was up the entire night again.  I kid you not, if I so much as bent my knees, not to mention stopped walking/jostling her, she screamed.  I did that for four hours straight.  My body ached from holding her to the point that I thought I might hurl...I finally had to wake Will up at 5am.  I went to bed for 2 hours and when I woke up, Shiloh was napping.  She got up and was miserable (clearly quite sick)  I wore her in the sling and had to pace the house/jostle her all day in order to keep her from screaming.  She feel asleep for a few minues a few different times in the sling but other than that, there was no sitting, no napping at all on Monday. 

Will and I were at the end of our rope.  Something was wrong.  Our kids have never been to a sick dr visit but Shiloh had her first one on Monday evening.  I told the dr (thankfully a D.O.) that I didn't want ANY antibiotic unless she was absolutely certian it was necessary.  Ear unfections are such a popular (and mostly false) diagnosis, most of which heal on their own, that I told her to please let us ride it out if she thoguht it were possible.  Shiloh had a 102.7 fever so the body was clearly working on something but when the dr peeked into her ears she said, "Woah!  This is a bad, full blown ear infection...and lets see the otherside...yeah, wow, same thing."  My kids have never been on an antibiotic so I was realy nervous.  I have a lot of antibiotic allergies (probably caused from being on them constatntly as a child) plus all the harsh side affects...it was all just hard to take.  I got the antibiotic and more motrin and added tylenol (because it seemed like the the motrin was barely touching her pain) and headed home.  I drugged her up, which just kills me.  Solomon has taken a fever reducer maybe 3 times in his whole life, and that boy is known to have 104 fevers for no reason at all...but Shiloh is nine months old and has finished an entire bottle of motrin!!!  Oh I cringe at the thought of it!!! Her poor liver/kidneys!!!  Anyway, at 930pm, she went to sleep, laying down!!!!  In her bed!!!!  Which hadn't happened in days!  She woke up at 130 and had a nurse and more tylenol/motrin piggy backing.  Then...she slept...and she slept and she slept!!!!! At 9 am I finally had to wake her up because I was so engorged and was leaking all over the place.  The next night was similar.  Thank you God...just that she is sleeping and feeling better.  And that I got to sleep for more than 2 hours!!!  :) 

Last night was a rough one again, but I tried skipping the pain meds.  Perhaps a mistake?  At 3am, when we had been up for 2 hours, I gave her a little more motrin and she slept till 530, had a nurse and went back to sleep until 8. Perhaps she is still in a little pain. 

This whole thing has been difficult for so many reasons.  There are so few people who get how awful this is because of lack of experience.  It feels really lonely sometimes.  Plus, I was really feeling so bad that Will had to get up and go to work, that I was taking it all on myself, trying to not wake him (I was making him sleep in with Solomon so that he wouldn't have to be awake all night) unless I was considering screaming at Shiloh, or worse!!!  I came to the conclusion that we both have to work the next day and I NEED him.  So he was happy to come back in and help, as a team.  Also, I was really really hurt...you see, every night, I literally CRY out to God...begging for Him to let me sleep, let Shiloh sleep...to help us all sleep...and every morning I feel like He compltely ignored me.  It crushed me everday.  I started to get really angry with Him.  "How you could NOT care God? I'm dying here!!"  Then...I decided to start praying for something different..."Lord, help me have the strength to get through whatever the night holds...." and then, He WAS there.  He helped me through each night, as long as I tapped into His strength. 

It has been/is a process.  A long, hard, sad, upsetting, exhausting, terrible process.  But I am surviving.  And that is the most important part. 

To top it all off, the weather has had us completely trapped in the house.  We have had like 4 feet of snow over the last week and it is still coming down.  We are trapped in the driveway and Will and I have been shoveling and shoveling.  It is a mess out there!!!  Grocery stores were completely out of milk, as in THE ENTIRE STORE HAD NO MILK!!!!  What the heck!!!

Right as the storm started

Two Hours Later

The Next Morning

We are surviving, God is with us, and for that, we are So thankful.  I know this is a really really depressing post, but for me, there is so much victory ...hope that makes sense.

Solomon's World

We got to go to this awesome mini neighborhood.  Solomon was in heaven.  There was a TV station, a coffee shop, a grocery store, a fire station, a hospital, a mechanic shop, a train station and a massive playset...all indoors.  Solomon has never had so much fun.  Everything was just his size and there was SO much to play with.  We had a great time, with great friends.  This place is actually right by Wills work, which is an hour drive.  It was so much fun.  We cannot wait to do it again...probably will head out there in April when my mom comes to visit.  Once again, I forgot my camera and was wearing Shiloh so the pictures are all kinda crappy.

Just A Peek

Meet Reginold.  The camel. April got this for him way back in 2007 from Israel.  Suddenly, he is obsessed with it.  Reginold is the new bff.

Here is Solomon stealing his sisters purse.

And stealing a hug.

Little Buddy had some issues so we had to send him back to his creator for some repairing.  :(  Hurry back little buddy...we miss you!!!

Solomon has a camel...and I have a Koala.  I wear her non-stop.  She likes to get down and play for a while but then, she likes me to put the sling on and wear her while I do pretty much everything, including pee.

Will and I FINALLY got new uggs.  We now live somewhere that actually requires warm boots unlike in Southern California where we just wore them because we were cool.  Now they are cool, and funtional (but lets all be honest...we just got them because we're cool haha)

Jillian and Solomon in their obnixious hummers at toys'r'us.  Can't they have these things in a Pruis????

Don't let him fool you!  He is trouble!

Laughing and Learning

Candice gave Shiloh this kitchen for Christmas and she is obsessed with it.  It is the best gift ever.  She sits there forever and plays with it.  It is so so sweet! 

The Piano is something we had from when Solomon was teeny.  She loves this too.  I'd say she is a Laugh and Learn baby.  I wonder what other free Laugh and Learn things we can get her?!?!