Saturday night we went to church and we were just so glad that we went. We are doing a Sermon On The Mount (The End Of Religion) study that has been extremely heart piercing and life changing. Saturday's study was titled "Hands Free" (which was very appropriate in many ways. Here in California, since July 1st, it is now illegal to use your cell phone while driving without a hands free devise, which is pretty much the most ridiculous law I have ever heard of BUT that is another blog entirely).
He talked about about money, living simply, taking care of those around us, not being so stressed out about tomorrow and living in today, knowing that the God of all is taking care of us. Of course I cannot do it justice, even in the least. So go and listen to it here.
It got Will and I thinking about a lot. We have so much. Now, the world might see us as living off of school loans, just being able to pay our bills most months, living in my mom's guest house, BUT WOW, we have SO much! Todd (one of the pastors at Rock Harbor) read an email about a really young couple who decided that they wanted to live on only 50-60% of their income, and find ways to give the rest away. It was really a challenging thing to think about, much less to even consider. How many of us could do that? Well, all of us really. It requires an immeasurable sacrifice, or so it seems from a normal middle class American. We are in the upper 5% of the richest people in the world. How's that for sobering...I really implore you to take 40 minutes and listen to this service. (and if you are one of those over-achievers, start fromt he beginning)
My life was completely changed after my first visit to Uganda in 1999. Flying over the continent of Africa in itself was just about the MOST sobering thing that I thought could ever happen to me...until the plane landed. I road in the back of a cattle lorrie for two and half hours atop my luggage and saw things I never imagined were real. I saw little children running, jumping, yelling "hello muzungu" (foreigner) just because they saw me. I remember seeing a little boy about 7 with his little baby brother/sister strapped to his back, no adult in sight for miles, carrying a heavy jerrycan full of water up a pretty steep incline on Bombo Road. I was 17 years old and I was really scared and lonely and I cried my self to sleep for about 6 nights. But then... I fell in love. I got out of myself, I got out of my brainwashed American mind, and I fell in love. I fell in love with simplicity, with joy in spite of pain, with tender souls who had been through/seen things that you and I can only imagine. Yet, despite it all, they had a joy, a light shining from within that I had never in my life seen before...and I wanted more...
I returned to Uganda in 2001 where I stayed from March until September. I assisted a nurse in the on site clinic at the orphanage that I worked with. I taught math for a primary 4 class at the school on site. It was a tremendous experience. I made life long friends. I felt God closer than I have ever felt Him before. I experienced things that, in a lifetime, I cannot adequately express to anyone. I truly thought I would go there and just really, you know, "help" people...ha...what do I have to give? I was given more that I have ever even understood...and I will never ever forget my time there. My life was simple. No electricity, no running water, no entertaining outside of little ones, and friends I had made there. We'd play cards, have tea and talk, go for a walk or a bike ride, and that was about it in ways of entertaining ourselves. Simplicity... It allowed for genuine relationships, with friends, with children, with God. Simplicity... I came home, not wearing make up, not buying all kinds of unnecessary things, just, being simple... and then I slowly forgot all about it...
I went back a third time, where I also got to visit the war torn and slowly recovering Rwanda. I got to visit Sudanese refugee camps, and again, I was back in my Uganda. My heart skipped several beats as the plane landed. I stepped out on the stair case pushed up to the plane, I tipped my face toward the sun, tears streaming down my cheeks and I breathed in a breath of that Ugandan air that I had ached for for over a year... "Oh Uganda", I swore to myself, "I will never forget your simple beauty, this time, I will truly take you home with me, forever..."
(please stay with me...there is a point)
Today, I cleaned out (for about the forth time this year) Solomon's toys. I weeded through all the madness. Will and I always promised (before we had ever had children...I was pregnant) that Solomon would have one medium sized basket of toys...and if it didn't fit inside the basket, we didn't need it...well that didn't happen. I filled up another huge garbage bag of things that he has acquired over the last month or two since I last did this...just of things that he doesn't need. Oh gosh... I cried. I just got so sad. We have so much, too much, Solomon probably has 30 shirts...WHY? Why do I have that many shirts? Why do I have so many pairs of shoes?
I forgot you, Uganda...I forgot you, simplicity. I forgot all about you. In wanting to give my husband and my son "the life" I forgot all about the true and lasting joy that IS simplicity. I lost sight of what is most important...
I have a friend, Sennyonjo, and his wife and three little sons, who work to care for orphans. Sennyonjo, an orphan himself, watched his family be killed by rebels in the genocide of the 90's. He has three kids who probably have very few toys. I have a friend April who is Canadian. Her and her husband live in Uganda ministering to broken people. They have three little ones, who do not have a lot. I know many people like this. Happy children, happy people, living with very little. I talked to April today via email and she said they would be SO happy to receive some DVD's for her and her husband, and the kids, and toys or whatever fun treats we wanted to send their way. I am going to do a good bit of this...hoping that I can cut our family's belongings in half, while giving to people around us who need it.
The city of Lira is in Uganda...kind of northern/central-ish. A new city official was elected not too long ago. He had this great vision for this desolate, abandoned, broken, war torn village...so, yes, he had this huge vision for this place. In three years...he wanted every person to...are you ready...?
To own 2 shirts...
How do I go about my day, living in this sad, over consuming world? In my heart, I would sell everything I have, cars, clothes, everything...to take my family and go back to Uganda... Unfortunately, that isn't where God has us, as a family, now. My ministry is my husband, my son, the people around me, here, now.
I am working hard at being content here. But because of this entire study I am learning how to live out what is in my heart, even if buried deep down, here, now, with what I have been given.
Our new goals, as a family, is to really get ride of many many many things. We want to start giving ourselves away more. We want to do more for the people in our lives who need things more than we do. It's a start...and tiny tiny tiny start...but it is a start...to living simply.
Showing posts with label Church. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Church. Show all posts
Monday, August 4, 2008
Monday, May 19, 2008
'Bout Time
Where have I been???
May 10th- We did the AIDS WALK and what an awesome day it was. It was pretty hot. We got up early and headed down to Angel Stadium. It was a 3 mile walk. Solomon was in his stroller and it was such a blast. Allow me to digress for a moment. A man, oh a man, was perched across the street and the main cross walk that the over 100 people were walking past. He had a 15ft or so sign, black with white letters, "BELIEVE IN JESUS" it said. He was shouting on his bull horn, "SINNERS!!!!!!!!!" Wow...I can't even dignify this with words. But you can imagine what a slap in the face this was for the 400 people that were from our church, RockHarbor not me mention all the others that were there living with AIDS. Enough... it was a big sucess and incredibly rewarding to go out and do something like this as a family. We got home, had a nap and then KelliAnn and I got manicure/pedicures for her bday (that was like 2 months ago haha). I was a nice relaxing day.
Well there was Mothers Day. It want a great day. My own mom and I got into a massive screaming match. Those are always a joy. Will and I talked my sister into watching Solomon's monitor so that we could go over to Cheryl's and my dads to watch the Survivor finally. Amanda didn't win, so that was the final "cherry on top" to my lousy day.
May 14th, I watched Sara's girls. She had to go to court for the termination of their birth parents parental rights (which they ended up postponing for the SECOND TIME booo!!!) so I hung out with the kiddos. . Melody, 5, is a bit of a bohemian diva. She doesn't exactly grasp that Solomon and Kimberly, 18 months, are babies. Solomon was babbling to her and she gets this big girl look on her face, puts her hands on her hips, rolls her eyes, grits her teeth and say, "I have NO CLUE what the HECK you are saying!!!" haha...and of course the tattling was driving me bonkers. Between Solomon not listening to me, and Kimberly screaming/squealing/shrieking every time Solomon even came remotely close (cant blame her, he usually hurts her haha), I wasready for reinforcments when Sara got home. I am glad that I can help her like this. She watched Solomon a few days a week for about 2 months while I attempted to go back to work (and failed miserably at, because I missed Solomon FAR too much!).
May 15th, we went to a swim date with friends. I was SO proud of Solomon. He was the most incredibly sharer. He was saying, "Sollie's turn please (while signing please)" even though the boys were older than him and were grabbing everything off of him. He did bonk a little boy on the head once, but that was after being shoved by him haha. I was just so impressed at how he listened and obeyed and played nicely...I have been beaming ever since!!!
Saturday, I went for an "interview" for a few days of nannying a 2 y/o girl and a 3 mo/o boy. I met the most awesome family EVER! Amy is a momma who is passionate about natural childbirth and parenting. They are eco-conscious and a very gentle warm family. Amy and I hit it off. Her kids and husband seemed wonderful. They ended up inviting Will , Solomon and I over for swimming and barbecuing. It was really hard with Solomon, he was just all over the place and I was sweating just from chasing him!!! so I wont be taking the job...BUT Will and Amy's husband, Brett totally hit it off. Our kids got along. We have more in common than should be humanly possible. It was really fun and we cannot WAIT to do it again!! Thank you enannysource.com haha...
Today, Jen and I got to go to Disneyland...JUST US!!! (thank you Will!!!!) I was an adult for SEVEN whole hours. Can you imagine?? What a great feeling!!! Her and Justin also offered to watch Solomon for Will and my anniversary which is on the 28th. I am super excited. Now we just need to think of something to do. We don't usually get babysitters...so this will be SUCH a treat. Solomon's birthday is on the 28th of June, and my mom is going to throw him a party...yeah...an event to plan. I'm excited. She wants a "theme" and I am truly torn. Dumbo, Cars, and Nemo are all such a tie...how is a mother to decide???
I think I am pretty well caught up... OH yes, Dr Yamata, Wills Private Practice Rotation (PPR) supervising doctor, as kinda been offering him a job. Its not that he can really take it. I mean he offered a really good salary but if we went to PA and made the same, we would automatically still be "making more" in PA just because the cost of living is about 1/3 of what it is here...anyway, just thought I would throw that out there...
Must go watch Dancing With The Stars with Will now...even though I am royally disappointed with it!
May 10th- We did the AIDS WALK and what an awesome day it was. It was pretty hot. We got up early and headed down to Angel Stadium. It was a 3 mile walk. Solomon was in his stroller and it was such a blast. Allow me to digress for a moment. A man, oh a man, was perched across the street and the main cross walk that the over 100 people were walking past. He had a 15ft or so sign, black with white letters, "BELIEVE IN JESUS" it said. He was shouting on his bull horn, "SINNERS!!!!!!!!!" Wow...I can't even dignify this with words. But you can imagine what a slap in the face this was for the 400 people that were from our church, RockHarbor not me mention all the others that were there living with AIDS. Enough... it was a big sucess and incredibly rewarding to go out and do something like this as a family. We got home, had a nap and then KelliAnn and I got manicure/pedicures for her bday (that was like 2 months ago haha). I was a nice relaxing day.
Well there was Mothers Day. It want a great day. My own mom and I got into a massive screaming match. Those are always a joy. Will and I talked my sister into watching Solomon's monitor so that we could go over to Cheryl's and my dads to watch the Survivor finally. Amanda didn't win, so that was the final "cherry on top" to my lousy day.
May 14th, I watched Sara's girls. She had to go to court for the termination of their birth parents parental rights (which they ended up postponing for the SECOND TIME booo!!!) so I hung out with the kiddos. . Melody, 5, is a bit of a bohemian diva. She doesn't exactly grasp that Solomon and Kimberly, 18 months, are babies. Solomon was babbling to her and she gets this big girl look on her face, puts her hands on her hips, rolls her eyes, grits her teeth and say, "I have NO CLUE what the HECK you are saying!!!" haha...and of course the tattling was driving me bonkers. Between Solomon not listening to me, and Kimberly screaming/squealing/shrieking every time Solomon even came remotely close (cant blame her, he usually hurts her haha), I wasready for reinforcments when Sara got home. I am glad that I can help her like this. She watched Solomon a few days a week for about 2 months while I attempted to go back to work (and failed miserably at, because I missed Solomon FAR too much!).
May 15th, we went to a swim date with friends. I was SO proud of Solomon. He was the most incredibly sharer. He was saying, "Sollie's turn please (while signing please)" even though the boys were older than him and were grabbing everything off of him. He did bonk a little boy on the head once, but that was after being shoved by him haha. I was just so impressed at how he listened and obeyed and played nicely...I have been beaming ever since!!!
Saturday, I went for an "interview" for a few days of nannying a 2 y/o girl and a 3 mo/o boy. I met the most awesome family EVER! Amy is a momma who is passionate about natural childbirth and parenting. They are eco-conscious and a very gentle warm family. Amy and I hit it off. Her kids and husband seemed wonderful. They ended up inviting Will , Solomon and I over for swimming and barbecuing. It was really hard with Solomon, he was just all over the place and I was sweating just from chasing him!!! so I wont be taking the job...BUT Will and Amy's husband, Brett totally hit it off. Our kids got along. We have more in common than should be humanly possible. It was really fun and we cannot WAIT to do it again!! Thank you enannysource.com haha...
Today, Jen and I got to go to Disneyland...JUST US!!! (thank you Will!!!!) I was an adult for SEVEN whole hours. Can you imagine?? What a great feeling!!! Her and Justin also offered to watch Solomon for Will and my anniversary which is on the 28th. I am super excited. Now we just need to think of something to do. We don't usually get babysitters...so this will be SUCH a treat. Solomon's birthday is on the 28th of June, and my mom is going to throw him a party...yeah...an event to plan. I'm excited. She wants a "theme" and I am truly torn. Dumbo, Cars, and Nemo are all such a tie...how is a mother to decide???
I think I am pretty well caught up... OH yes, Dr Yamata, Wills Private Practice Rotation (PPR) supervising doctor, as kinda been offering him a job. Its not that he can really take it. I mean he offered a really good salary but if we went to PA and made the same, we would automatically still be "making more" in PA just because the cost of living is about 1/3 of what it is here...anyway, just thought I would throw that out there...
Must go watch Dancing With The Stars with Will now...even though I am royally disappointed with it!
Saturday, May 3, 2008
In His Image
Well I have dealt with, almost my entire life, terrible self-esteem issues. I still have them and they torture me everyday, some times every moment. I have an unhealthy relationship with food and a terrible body image. Sometimes I am too anxious about people in public seeing this "unlovable me." Sometimes I weigh myself 30 times a day. Sometime it wakes me up at night and I just ponder my "ugliness and worthlessness" for hours. I know that it isn't logical and I know it is a terrible terrible place for me to be...nevertheless...its here...ever present.
Yesterday, my sister and her boyfriend went to the park with Solomon and I. Her boyfriend left his sunglasses over by the swings and so he ran back to get them. April was wearing shorts (and has a hot rockin' bod in my opinion...I'd LOVE it!!!) and she kinda freaked out a little bit and turned around to face me (I was behind her) and stopped saying, "Wait, I don't want him to see my cellulite!!! PLease stop walking and lets wait for him so he wont see it." I wanted to cry. All I said was, "Oh April stop it...you don't have any...you are beautiful! Ugh!!!" I mean that. I wanted to cry knowing that those obsessive thoughts were going through her head. It made me sad. And I meant what I said!! She is beautiful JUST HOW SHE IS. I hear that...but in my case I think people are lying and I never believe it.
It's a tragedy that I do not know the solution to. I felt this way before my body morphed into a post pregnancy kangaroo pouchy ball of blub (there I am putting myself down again). So to me, the answer is just unknown...I don't know where to start, much less how to finish...but I will say that if I could take away/take on on my sweet sisters poor image thoughts...I would do it.
Our SexLove&Money study gave TONS of stats abotu body image and weigth issues on a slide show before we started it. Here were some of the stats: (I might be a TAD off on the exact percentages but just a TAD)
-80% of girls/woman or more terrified of getting fat than, nuclear warfare or losing thier parents.
-8 years ago, the average age in girls for "dieting" was 13. Now it is 9.
Darn, there were so many other good ones...I will write them down tonight at church and post more later.
Image...aren't we created in HIS image? Maybe I don't even remotely understand what that means...I don't know...there has to be an answer to this. Women, least of all, little girls, should NOT have to live like this! I know there is hope...I jsut know it.
Yesterday, my sister and her boyfriend went to the park with Solomon and I. Her boyfriend left his sunglasses over by the swings and so he ran back to get them. April was wearing shorts (and has a hot rockin' bod in my opinion...I'd LOVE it!!!) and she kinda freaked out a little bit and turned around to face me (I was behind her) and stopped saying, "Wait, I don't want him to see my cellulite!!! PLease stop walking and lets wait for him so he wont see it." I wanted to cry. All I said was, "Oh April stop it...you don't have any...you are beautiful! Ugh!!!" I mean that. I wanted to cry knowing that those obsessive thoughts were going through her head. It made me sad. And I meant what I said!! She is beautiful JUST HOW SHE IS. I hear that...but in my case I think people are lying and I never believe it.
It's a tragedy that I do not know the solution to. I felt this way before my body morphed into a post pregnancy kangaroo pouchy ball of blub (there I am putting myself down again). So to me, the answer is just unknown...I don't know where to start, much less how to finish...but I will say that if I could take away/take on on my sweet sisters poor image thoughts...I would do it.
Our SexLove&Money study gave TONS of stats abotu body image and weigth issues on a slide show before we started it. Here were some of the stats: (I might be a TAD off on the exact percentages but just a TAD)
-80% of girls/woman or more terrified of getting fat than, nuclear warfare or losing thier parents.
-8 years ago, the average age in girls for "dieting" was 13. Now it is 9.
Darn, there were so many other good ones...I will write them down tonight at church and post more later.
Image...aren't we created in HIS image? Maybe I don't even remotely understand what that means...I don't know...there has to be an answer to this. Women, least of all, little girls, should NOT have to live like this! I know there is hope...I jsut know it.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
100
Today, this fun ROASTING Sunday morn, it is supposed to be over 100 degrees!!! 95 at the beach, where you will definately find us. HOWEVER, I have nothing to wear there. Bathing suits are not my thang, and I don't do shorts well either...so I think I am going to sprint over to Target and see if I can find anything to fit for todays festivites. Jackie (Will's mum) is still here with us. Today, as stated, beach. Tomorrow, beach. And Tuesday, Disneyland.
Last night we got to see the Mwangaza Children's Choir perform at Rock Harbor. WOW!!! How elated was I to see Pastor Peter and Pastor Fred, whose homes I have personally visited in Kampala, Uganda. It's been 5 years and I didn't expect them to remember me, but I went and re-introduced myself. Solomon LOVED it. He was dancing and clapping and signing/saying MORE MORE MORE!!! SOOOO cute!!! We loved it! I want to go back more than ANYTHING. I sure hope the opportunity arises soon!
Last night we got to see the Mwangaza Children's Choir perform at Rock Harbor. WOW!!! How elated was I to see Pastor Peter and Pastor Fred, whose homes I have personally visited in Kampala, Uganda. It's been 5 years and I didn't expect them to remember me, but I went and re-introduced myself. Solomon LOVED it. He was dancing and clapping and signing/saying MORE MORE MORE!!! SOOOO cute!!! We loved it! I want to go back more than ANYTHING. I sure hope the opportunity arises soon!
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